Why I don’t like miracles.

When you witness a miracle you are amazed. It feels awesome, you feel like your faith can move the mountains and God’s power is all you want to talk about… Not even talk, you want to fly around to everyone you’ve ever met and shake them shouting “God’s Alive and He cares for all of us!!!”. And you feel so light as if you were flying, you live on a little cloud, you become a walking, 1-person IHOP, only blessings come out of your mouth and all that’s in your heart is the need to share God’s love with the world.

But then some days/weeks/months later the real life gets through the bubble that you’re inside of. And you think that something’s gone wrong, you either made some bad decision or you didn’t read the Bible enough or you didn’t fast enough, you spent too much time with non christians and now you’re becoming them :o So what can you do what can you do?!?!

You have hunger of God, very good, very healthy HUNGER OF GOD. And what you need to do is to live where you have always lived, with the same people, using the same language (kinda), and keep the hunger of God and His Love in you and figure out how not to lose that hunger.

But instead of realizing it you think that you need a FIRE! You need God’s huge power that will make you fly again! And God’s power and FIRE is where an AWESOME worship is and where the famous leaders are and powerful prayers happen. And you go to another conference, witness either awesome worship or another miracle and you’re happy. For a few weeks. And your life becomes a journey from one conference to another.

I don’t think it’s real, I think it’s fooling yourself and it’s the milk that either Paul, Barnaba, Apollos or whoever wrote the letter to jews talks about:

11 We have much to say about this, but it is hard to make it clear to you because you no longer try to understand. 12 In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! 13 Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. 14 But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.” Hebrews 5,11-14

That’s why I love Houses of Prayer, ‘cuz they are not cool, they are actually super boring :) if you serve there you go there, you sing/play/pray for 2 hours every week etc and the musicians are not awesome (ofc not talking about KC teams Misty Edwards, Jaye Thomas and Jon Thurlow) and there’s just a few people in the room, sometimes nobody. So you actually have to want to pray, not only “do the worship”.

(Unfortunately) the only people I know (of my generation, so including me) who had guts to go farther than the fireworks ended up:

  1. living a “life of compromise” 2. in houses of prayer

So maybe it’s better to live from one miracle to another than go to hell but I just don’t like this circle. Two years ago I had a completely different theory on the same topic so I might change my mind one day…

PS I like that miracles happen, that dead people get up, that sick people get healed etc. – but this should be normal for those who actually believe, the same way that Hillsong/Onething worships shouldn’t touch people’s hearts more than when they pray alone.